RED ALERT!! THERE IS A WOMAN ON THE PREMISES!!

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, 1993

My first job was with a Greek Cypriot company where I was promoted, within months, to be an executive. I was so excited to accompany my team to my first key meeting with a client where I will be taking a project from start to end.  

I was prancing in with my head held high and chest puffed up with pride and excitement.

I had no idea just how much more ‘exciting’ the day could get.

We walked into the headquarters of a company we were planning to start a series of projects with. It was a big tower that I passed often so I was feeling elated to go in.

My boss went ahead to speak to the receptionist and gave the name of our contact person.

The receptionist looked up from his list smiling to confirm the appt then alarm filled his face, almost comically, when he saw me standing with the rest of the team, clad in my black abayah.

Not different from what was worn by most women in Jeddah.

It was surreal to be immediately surrounded by several security guards.

Not big hulks or armed but still menacing enough for my active imagination to conjure up the clicking sounds of Kalashnikovs! 

I felt like raising my hands in surrender but wasn’t sure it would help reduce this macho panic.

We were all taken in by surprise, of course. I asked why but got no answer.

I wondered if that question had accelerated the move from a women orange alert to red.

Someone came to my boss and pointed at me, without really looking at me, saying:

“Women are not allowed in the building”.

My fury shot up so high to almost activate my own ‘red button’. There are no words to describe how you feel when someone denies you entrance because of your gender, points at you openly but would not even speak to you directly.

The guy then said that the rest of the team were welcome to proceed but not me!

My boss, who was new to Saudi Arabia, was so puzzled, as he kept saying later. He just could not fathom what the issue was. To him, I was a valued team member. Full stop!

He tried to explain that we needed to have the whole team for this meeting but there was no budging the guy. It was beyond this man’s understanding to get that it was me who would be leading this project if we go through.

The guy said:

“It is our policy that no women are allowed in the building! Period!”

I wanted to ask.

Who sets these policies? Men!

Who protects and executes these policies? Men!

Who finds all sorted of convoluted reasoning to justify them? Men!

Our contact came down and apologized for this ‘misunderstanding’ as they didn’t realize there will be a ‘woman’ in the team. Shock! Horror!

He asked us to wait in the foyer while he tries to sort something out.

I was fuming.

It seems my femininity, was a major security threat. There is something inherently dangerous about women, isn’t there?

We are so big and muscled. Aren’t we? Ferocious Amazonians, the whole lot of us, ready to attack and destroy for no reason whatsoever.

A major threat in this world.

Even though major wars throughout history are almost exclusively led and fought by men. All the atrocities, terrorist acts are mostly perpetrated by men. Note, I am saying ‘mostly’ not ‘always’.

Yet, nothing in the world is scarier than a woman!

Even someone 1.5 meters and so slight of build, like me.

Of course, they are, and men are perfectly entitled to take any measure to protect their premises from them!

The premise is that women are at the roots of all evil. Their mere presence turns men into salivating Neanderthals. Crazed with unbridled passion.

I looked around and saw some desks on the other side of the ground floor. Men seemed to be working there calmly even when they saw me. No fits of unbridled passion seemed to be at work there!

Maybe I can’t see it because as a woman I have deficient mental capabilities (Another theory claimed to be Islamic).

Yes, yes, I can see it now. They are looking at me and the perceptual veil was lifting so they can see me as I really am.

A vicious medusa! The evil snakes are coming out of my head and getting bigger and bigger. Soon all men will be torn to pieces! I wondered how they would react if I did an evil laugh!

The poor mites are running to the nearest exits, trying to escape my deadly powers.

One young man tripped and fell but two of his colleagues caught him between them shouting:

“We will save you buddy! We leave no man behind!”

Another young man froze as he was staring at me, and I revelled in it.

Yes!! Another one bites the dust. Hooray Medusa!

A colleague ran along hauling him on this shoulder to run to the nearest exit! Shame!

The voice of our contact interrupted my crazy train of thoughts.

Again, politely apologizing, and taking us up to the top floor that overlooks almost all of Jeddah.

The meeting went well but we did not get the projects and I wondered if that was because my boss was evil enough to propose a woman would lead it. And this is how I launched into my career in the dark age of the 1990s in Saudi Arabia!!

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7^th Oct 2022

I feel overjoyed today when I see women gradually coming out of the shadows into the light of participation through various roles in my homeland, Saudi Arabia.

Most importantly when I see more & more women shaping their lives the way they want to with their dignity preserved.

I see very young girls (& boys) dreaming of lives on their own terms.

There is still a lot to be done and challenges to overcome, especially when we are coming out of decades of draconian laws based on twisting all Islamic sources to gradually take over the brains of regular people and direct them away from love and towards hate. 

A period when hate of others flourished to form the basis for horrible inhuman violence and suffering.

When personal freedom for women (& all) regressed and personal choices were curtailed.

Now, it is turning.

I believe that cultural change needs to come from within, deep within. 

That great leaders are enablers of that change by removing stoppers at that level for the change to percolate up and down.

As major obstacles are removed, space is opened for a natural discourse to take place allowing people to form their own culture rather than have it imposed on them by any kind of morality policing or cultural colonialism.

The world can choose to work together to keep moving towards that freedom of choice or apply it selectively creating more division and conflict.

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I grew up in a rather conservative society in Saudi Arabia. I used to resist and rebel against any restrictions.

However, I could not deny that there was some deeply rooted respect for women as the matriarchal heads of the families. Something I observed with my own grandfathers & grandmothers on both sides.

Dressing conservatively also had a different meaning that was not necessarily linked to repression.

Albeit my focus was more on the restrictions particularly since that respect was entwined with a need to protect based on values such as a certain perspective of honour.

My father used to advise me to be patient because, he used to tell me, cultures evolve naturally, and it takes time. If it is not allowed to do that it would be just a bubble that quickly pops.

Unfortunately, we had a black bubble that took time to pop because so many parties around the world had a vested interest in preserving it even if they claimed otherwise.

In the 1960’s & 1970’s things started to evolve at a faster pace in Saudi, some boundaries regarding women were being pushed both by the government and individuals to give them more choices.

Formal schooling for girls was finally pushed forward by King Faisal in 1960’s, despite resistance from the clerics, to become normalized in the 1970s.

Saudi women started to work extensively in education, medicines and pushing their way in fields not considered previously for women.

My aunt was among the first waves of women to go out to work at all and one of her jobs was as a radio presenter. This was significant for women because their voices with their full names were out in the public domain.

In the 1980’s, post the whole ‘Jihad in Afghanistan game’ to kick out the invading Soviet army we saw the rise of extremist’s groups using the latest technologies & techniques to brain wash the public.

This was not about ‘conservatism’ or traditional values anymore even though they tried to disguise it as such.

It was about power and control.

Charlie Wilson’s war did happen (regardless of the details) but the movie failed to connect the dots fully and tell the whole story.

A key approach of the extremists’ groups was distorting, & even inventing, religious archetypes and philosophies to push people in the direction they wanted.

Women were an easy target given the existing belief system in the cultures of the Middle East.

One of the key rationales used is no less than THE story of creation based on Divine Revelation!

Eve submitting to Satan (due to her inherent weakness) and the reason Adam was kicked out of Eden and why they both had to endure horrid existence on Earth rather than paradise!

Except that the story of creation in the Quran (which Muslims believe to be the word of God) is completely different.

It is Adam & Eve being created with a mission to be sent to Earth and make it prosperous ‘Emaar Al Ard’. Before they launch on that journey, there were valuable lessons to be learnt as they ‘both’ faced various challenges that went to their very core. They, both, sought and were granted Divine absolution and blessings.

That is what the Ayahs of the Quran literally say but some clerics tell us we are too stupid to get it and we must abide by the layers of interpretation they add.

Adam & Eve were one force that went through all experiences jointly.

Using the distorted version, it becomes justifiable to protect men from the evil of women (Satan’s helpers) by any means. Beat it out of them or use cover to isolate them, prevent even their voices from coming up or better still confine them to shadow existence.

Later in the 1990’s, a very courageous satirical Saudi TV show became bolder in their storytelling in one episode to represent the fairyland of these extremists. Cities being divided into a part for men where life goes on normally while women and children were incarcerated with the children in camps. Where they can perform what the clerics claim is the only reasons they were created.

Procreation, raising children and, of course, providing pleasure to men.

Less than human.

Whatever men do to them is admissible. It is only a reaction to the natural wickedness of women.

Something that some of the extremist clerics say openly or allude to indirectly.

Ironically, they seem to be saying, we are so scared of women that if she just shows her hair, we beat her up so badly or even kill her!!

Because the very sight of it makes us regress into Neanderthals! But it is her fault!

Unfortunately, we see various nuance of this line of thinking in many cultures around the world.

Misogyny has NO fixed roots in Islam but is an important part of a larger philosophy that is being brewed, by some groups & individuals in different places and periods, for POWER and CONTROL.