Am I sleep-walking? Or am I being arrested.

I turned to examine the man at my left.

My eyes were at the level of his belly-button (naturally well-covered by his uniform). I wondered how he would react if I tickled him.

I mean come on! Belly-buttons? Tickles?  Same view on the right. Same temptation.

A voice in my head shouted: Wake up Biba! Wake up woman! You need to be alert!

At some level I was recognizing that a combination of sleep-deprivation and panic was leading to a seriously insane line of thinking. A sane part of my brain was struggling to assert itself so I can deal with the situation I find myself in.

With my peripheral vision I notice the turned faces. We must be making quite a spectacle for the multitude of humanity piled up in O’Hare airport. Two giants ‘escorting’ a little woman to an unknown location.

Welcome to the US Biba!

I was grateful to that voice in my head. Can you produce some coffee for me, voice in my head?

My mind started to go over the journey furtively, maybe I could see what went wrong.

I was invited to attend a convention with other young people from 22 other countries around the word. It was supposed to be a journey to introduce us to the US starting from the West coast, right across to the East coast, visiting several states. It was to include visits to many business locations, meetings with business and political dignitaries.

I was very excited.

More so because it was my first visit to the US. That was my excuse for planning this trip rather badly.

I left my house in Jeddah at 12 am Sun morning. The flight left after 2 am.

The plan was that I would be ready to attend my convention on Mon. Very ambitious, indeed

After a 6 hours flight to London, I had 3 hours lay over at Heathrow airport. A 7 hrs. flight to Chicago followed.  

I didn’t speak to anyone. I didn’t pick up anything other than my own hand luggage which I never left unattended.

18 hrs after leaving my home at midnight, it is the middle of the day here!

And without sleeping a wink. I can’t sleep on planes. That piled up on the hectic day I had finishing off my packing & meeting various deadlines.

It was a very long and tiring trip, all the way from Jeddah to Chicago in one day.

By the time I got off the plane, I was at a very true risk of falling asleep while walking. An outstanding feat for anyone, let alone an insomniac.

Still, I was buzzing with excitement on arrival on US soil. Hooray!

I sauntered in with my usual confidence. Well, as much confidence I can muster being almost mindless. I was wearing my usual travel clothes of jeans, t-shirt and sneakers.

I exchanged the usual formalities with the passport control officer. My eyes kept turning to my watch, I absolutely needed to catch the connecting flight to Seattle.

Well, I thought they were the usual formalities, what did the guy actually say?

“You don’t look Saudi”.

“I have mixed ancestry.” I replied tiredly.

“Your English doesn’t sound like a Saudi.”

“I was educated in the UK.”  

Was that suspicion in his voice? I couldn’t detect it at the time, I was just too tired. I mean I am used to people thinking I can’t be Saudi because I don’t fit their stereotype of Saudis. And Saudi women at that!

However, in my whole experience of extensive travelling (with my family & on my own) that was never as issue, as long as I had the right documentation. I most definitely do now.

So, what else could be the issue?

Suddenly, I see two giants on my side. I am only 150 cm high so almost everyone is a giant to me, but these are truly giants. Massive, muscled, and armed giants!

They were very courteous and never put a hand on me. One of them said

“Ma’am, please come with us”.

I swallowed hard and asked

“Where to?”.

They didn’t answer.

I followed them, looking around Chicago airport.

Maybe I am just having a nightmare about being detained in O’Hare airport?

My sleep deprived mind furtively looked for an escape from reality.

The vague foggy part of my brain that was still working said ‘Of course you are being detained, you nitwit’.

Yes, why else would I be winged by two huge grim looking security guards?

Vaguely, I estimated that each one was easily more than double my size. So, I am being contained by about 5 times my size.

Still resisting the idea, I asked the silliest question, grasping at straws.

“Is the plane about to take off?”

Oh, please, please, let it be that they need me to be urgently at the plane that they sent two giants to fetch me.

“I have no idea ma’am!”. There went that theory.

He never even looked at me.

Oh my God, oh my God, this can’t be happening to me.

Will my family be informed? When?

Calm down, surely it is not that bad! A small sane voice in my head said.

Isn’t it? The crazy panicky voice pushed it out of awareness and gained all the attention.  

I wanted to touch my forehead to cool down my fervent brain but the guns at the giant’s sides made it hard for me to swallow, let alone move a hand.

Why do they even need guns, for God’s sake? They could just smite me with those giant arms. Wipe me off the surface of the earth with a casual wave.

Focus, Biba! Focus! Thank you, two cells of grey matter that are still working.

Only if they would tell me what is going on!

Maybe I can start wailing and allow tears to flow down my face.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Let me go, let me go! You bastards’.

Huh, one problem. I find it hard to cry even when things are serious.

OK, more crazy stuff.

I was taken to a very large room full of people. Some words were exchanged, some papers signed but I was only asked to take a seat and wait. Once again, I asked for an explanation and was only told

“Someone will be with you shortly ma’am”.

‘Ma’am? Me? Little me?’. Was all I could think!

I looked around the room. The vast majority of people there seemed to be Latinos. I was often mistaken for a Latino. Are the Americans just rounding up all Latino looking people?

Is it politically correct to say Latinos? Or think the word?

Shut up Biba! A voice screamed in my head.

‘Shortly’ turned out to be an hour. I was worried about my flight to Seattle. If I don’t make it, I will miss my introductory meeting tomorrow.

Before that it was a very real possibility that I will just flip out on the floor in sheer exhaustion.

Not that any of this would matter if I am being detained for some heinous crime that the good American authorities will inform me that I committed! At some point! I hope!

Finally, my name was called. I was taken to one of the small huddle rooms on the side which had transparent glass panelling.

The guy was extremely courteous. Again, I asked why I was being investigated and he said it was a standard for my kind of visa. Hmm, not sure what that meant. As far as I knew I was a guest of the American government! Some hospitality!  

But I held my wild horses and didn’t voice my thoughts. I just wanted to get out.

The guy had my passport, so he said:

“So, you are Saudi? “. I confirmed it.

Then he said he had been to Saudi several times and proceeded to make some strange comments about Saudi.

“Which city are you from?”

“Jeddah.”

“Ah, that is the capital”. Not a question, a statement!

“No, it isn’t. Riyadh is the capital”. I clarified.

“Riyadh is on the coast”. He said.

“No, Riyadh is in the middle surrounded by desert. Jeddah is on the West coast and there is the East coast with other cities like Khobar and Dammam”. Again, I explained.

And so, it went on with further ‘statements’ about Saudi with twisted facts. At least they were facts, not things that might be open to opinions like how educated women were in Saudi were!! And how it was absolutely impossible for me to be a Saudi woman if I could put two rational words together. In English!

After all, I could not bring up supporting figures at the touch of a finger!

Finally, he said I could go and wished me a good day.

Again, I asked why. No answer.

Before leaving he said:

“You really don’t look Saudi at all, and your English is perfect. I have never come across an Arab who speaks such perfect English before”.

I was rendered utterly speechless!

I was so dumbfounded that I stood there rooted to the ground.

I could feel the response moving like a slow wave through my brain trying to wake up enough numb brain cells to form.

I shouted internally: Faster, faster, faster.

Unfortunately, by the time sufficient neurons were fired off for the thought to form, the guy had already moved away.

I wanted to call out to him.

“So, would it be safer for me in the US to speak broken English?”

It might be vindictive, but I was gleeful to see that the passport control officer (who must have reported me in as a suspect) was called in. His whole body-language was defensive. Good! I thought, smiling viciously. I hope he is getting a good scolding. I hope that will be a big black mark on his career chart. At least a dot?

7^th Jan 2022

The experience left me with an airport anxiety, that never fully dissipated, and all because I did not fit the stereotype someone had of Saudi women, I presume!

On that occasion, I did manage to catch my flight to Seattle, but my suitcase didn’t make it and caught up with me a few hours later. Normally, not a big problem but when you have been travelling for almost 25 hours in a day that doesn’t seem to end, it takes its toll. I glared at the sun willing it toset. Enough! Go away!

I was determined though that I will have a great time and I did. It was one of the most wonderful trips I ever made in my life. It was an intensive learning experience about the US and many other things.

I met people from other parts from the world, forming some life-long bonds.

Lida (Cyprus), Mark (Scotland), David (Malaysia), thank you for a beautiful friendship.

 

 

I made a point of staying away after 9/11. With that experience at O’Hare ingrained in my psyche I truly was not sure where I would end up if I did.

I was living and working in Geneva at the time and it was tough enough travelling around Europe.

I was a suspect when we were friends and I didn’t want to risk where I would be taken in all the 9/11 security hype.

I travelled to the US a couple more times, after that, with no issue! Even with a friendly reception twice!

It seems many people felt very insecure unless they can fit people into nice little matchboxes and put a clear label on them.

I would simply never fit! And I don’t expect anyone to.